The Worst of the 80s

Have fun laughing at some of the worst trends, funniest songs and outrageous worst fashions of the decade that didn't know how to say no - the eighties!

Sure it was a fun time looking back through the rose colored glasses of nostalgia but lets not forget what the 80s were REALLY LIKE. This lens exposes truly goofy eighties hair styles, unfortunate fashion statements, embarrassing musical moments and annoying eighties commercials from the decade of neon colors and big everything!

Everyone and their dog thought they were hilarious as they repeated this catch phrase repeatedly for the next twenty years! While memorable it still didn't make me want to eat those greasy square Wendy's burgers.

The 80s saw the birth of MTV and a flood of tacky music videos from pompous coke head directors masquerading as artists. And don't think MTV was any frontier of culture, they were worse then AM radio playing the same 10 videos over and over again all day!

Billy Idol wasn't particularly worse then the rest but he was pretty ridiculous and this literal version of the Billy Idol 1982 hit "White Wedding" presents a funny new perspective on the original song's video.

Eighties guitar solos were the worst and if you dared turn on the radio you could be assured of at least a minutes worth of self indulgent wanking for every 5 minutes of rock. This Iron Maiden parody video takes the epic masturbatory concert experience to a new level with their virtuoso re-edit of these 80s axe wielding metal heads playing live.

The eighties were an exciting time for video game arcades and the first home video game consoles. Unfortunately the graphics of the day generally sucked at the best of times, sound effects were very primitive and the whole idea of video games was a new one so many games were less then good.

One game of the 80s was so much less then good that is credited with being the worst video game of all time and partly responsible for the downfall of the once dominant Atari company. This game was ET, a pathetic attempt at cashing in on the hugely popular ET movie.Check out this video review to experience ET in all it's 8-bit glory!

Lincoln Hawk (Sylvester Stallone) is a struggling trucker covered in baby oil trying to rebuild his life. After the death of his wife, he tries to make amends with his son who he left behind years earlier. Upon their first meeting, his son doesn't think too highly of him until he enters the nation-wide arm wrestling competition in Las Vegas!

Take this fashion advice from Mr. T - Everyobody gotta wear clothes and if you don't you get arrested! Here's Marta our subway sweetheart taking the A Train to Fashion. She's a real hot dog. Jeff is the hippest cat in down, ain't no doubt when Jeff's around - stay cool Jeff!

Dare was a controversial war on drugs organization that not only tried to keep kids off drugs but also encouraged young children to look for signs of drug use at home and turn in their parents to the police. These innocent kids then find themselves responsible for the breakup of their family over a little pot smoke.

These shirts are worst of the 80s if worn seriously but the best if worn ironically!

Poor old Ollie North - he was a good looking all American boy and decorated Marine Corps Officer who was busted for orchestrating an elaborate operation involved in sending weapons to Iran with proceeds from South American drug exports. At the time Iran was under an arms shipment embargo and had been holding a number of US diplomats hostage for months. The scandal was exposed in 1986 and was known as the Iran Contra Affair. Obviously an operation of this magnitude involved hundreds of participants at all levels of command but Ollie took the fall.

Mutually Assured Destruction

The nuclear arms race was a competition for supremacy in nuclear warfare between the United States, the Soviet Union, and their respective allies during the Cold War. This policy was part of what became known as Mutually Assured Destruction: both sides knew that any attack upon the other would be suicide for themselves as well, and thus would (in theory) refrain from attacking one another.

U.S. and USSR nuclear weapons stockpiles

You are sure to be inspired by this 80s video depicting a typical day in Central Park NYC showing not all gangsters are problem makers. The video starts with some hardcore G's dressed as superheros and transvestites surrounded by their posse of children getting down to a cheap electro beat in the park - violent confrontation is narrowly avoided when a renegade violinist shows up and rocks the party.

You may need to slip on your wayfarer's so as not to be blinded by this neon filled promo for the low budget 80s kids movie "Little Monsters" about a bratty kid who befriends a monster under his bed. The kids may get into the spirit of practical joke-playing that occurs but as the movie lags on, and the jokes grow fewer and far between, the young 'uns will be pretty bored by the time this one comes to a close.There is almost nothing funny about any of the crap they pull in this movie, presumably meant for kids and rather disgusting in many ways.

Why are these men dressed as women?

What does this have to do with Heavy Metal?

Why can't I help banging my head and throwing devil fingers in the air?

In the 1985 a new right wing christian music censorship group arose called the Parents Music Resource Center or PMRC which was lead by Tipper Gore, the big haired wife of senator Al Gore. This group encouraged the censorship of bands and that had lyrics that they defined as overly sexual or violent and a ratings system for music releases.

Rock stars and rappers fought back leading to some funny exchanges between worlds in a senate hearing as shown in this documentary interview with Dee Snider of Twisted Sister. The groups actions led to the requirement for Parental Advisory stickers on albums which had little affect other then helping the sales of rap and metal releases that would be lacking without it.

These devious 80s artists have been found by the PMRC to promote sex and other filthy devious behaviors - therefore they are guaranteed to be cool! CD and MP3 song formats available from Amazon.

The eighties blog brings us this list of the sad 80s cars that saw the beginning of the end for US auto makers. Content with releasing bland, poorly constructed, technologically dated and just plain ugly cars in the face of slick European and Japanese competition the American auto industry quickly lost its prominent foothold in the 1980s. Compare these classic car badges that were bastardized by the complacent and uninspired US automotive leadership of the eighties.

1959 Ford Thunderbird vs 1988 Ford Thunderbird

1969 Cadillac vs 1988 Cadillac

That ugly Cadillac Cimarron (named as one of TIme Magazines 50 Worst Cars Ever) wasn't even cheap, they thought they were competing with BMW and Mercedes...nice try!

1982 BMW 733i

This painful attempt at humor hed behind a hearty laugh track featured a typical sit com family with the addition of a annoying young robotic girl that the father created and tries to pass off as real. Lessons are learned and chuckles are had but sorry but that premise is messed up!